Welcome To My Harem
by Tysonkaicutie
Summary: Axel, a prince of Egypt, comes to the US to recruit people into his harem. He finds twins, one a gorgeous blond with snappy attitude and a beautiful brunet with a kind heart. Problem? Their boyfriends won’t let them go! AkuRoku, Soiku, Zemyx, and SeiHay.


Tke: So yes, both of us are still writing fics and going strong! Ain't we KC?

KC: _**cleaning**_

Tke: … well besides that small note… Axel needs more love, doesn't he; he just gets smacked and beaten up on a regular basis.

KC: And you wonder why?

Tke: … oh, right, I FOUND PHANTOM IN ARABIC LYRICS TO READ THEM GO TO THIS WEBSITE

http // www . google . com / translate? uhttp 3A 2F 2F www .elyrics .net 2Finc 2Ftranslate .php 3Fletter 3Ds 26band 3DSarah 2BBrightman 26song 3DThe 2BPhantom 2BOf 2BThe 2BOpera&langpair en 7Car&hl en&ie UTF8

KC: JUST TAKE OUT THE SPACES!!

Tke: AND THIS IS AN ALL HUMOR FIC, IT'S NOT ALL SERIOUS!!

X.X.X.X.X.X

**Title**: Welcome To My Harem

**Authoress**: Tysonkaiexperiment

**Co-Authoress**: KiraraCutie

**Pairings**: AkuRoku, Soiku, Zemyx, and SeiHay with one-sided RoxasXAxelXSora, AxelXSora, AxelXDemyx, and HaynerRoxas

**Summary**: Axel, a prince of Egypt, comes to America to recruit people into his harem. He finds twins, one a gorgeous blond with snappy attitude but is a dancer and a beautiful brunet with a kind heart and a great singing voice. Problem? Their boyfriends won't let them go! AkuRoku, Soiku, Zemyx, and SeiHay.

**Dedication**: To Sarah Brightman, for giving me inspiration with her Harem soundtrack, though I doubt she'd be reading this. _**Laugh**_ All the songs in that soundtrack I plan to use in this fic.

**Note**: All the Harem and belly dancer outfits explained in this fic will be drawn by Tke and put on her deviantart account. So look for them!

X.X.X.X.X.X

"_Haty-a_!" Came a man running up, bowing before the throne covered in gold and other riches.

"_Naam_?" The golden-toned man looked down at the _Xry Hbt_ as he spoke.

"_Ghali awi_!"

"_Bekam haza_?"

"_Alf_!"

Anyone _not_ getting Egyptian? All right, I'll change it to English for you guys, _**groan**_.

"One thousand? Really?" The man smirked, fingers tapping against his chin.

"_Haty-a_, please, one girl is simply not worth one thousand _fuluss_."

Hey, I'm trying my hardest, okay? I can't help it if Egyptian words spill out sometimes.

The man stood, tilting his head back, "I will go to this, United States, and see if there is anyone worthy."

The man bowed respectfully to his prince, "There are many states, sir, where shall you go?"

The one near the throne paused, "I hear in the United States there are people that cover up their body, find me a state where they like to wear outfits like ours!"

"_Aywa_!"

Okay, changing to English is hard I need a scene change!

Why you can't all just speak Egyptian is beyond me…

X.X.X.X.X.X

_Destiny Islands, United States_ (Somewhere near California, I'm guessing…)

The man, who had learned his name translated to English from one of his men, had been renamed Axel, and had just taken his first plane ride out of his city.

Please, let's _try_ to stick to _one_ language…

Instantly, a man had bumped into Axel when he was getting off the plane, at least twenty guards were pointing weapons at the man.

"Sorry!" The man squeaked.

Axel shook his head, helping the man up.

"Thank you." The man muttered, still freaked out about the weapons being pointed at him and wondering why they weren't confiscated when they were getting on the plane.

"_Ahlan beka_." Axel waved him off.

Dammit Axel, I said _ONE_ language!

Axel shrugged and continued to make his way through the airport until he'd been picked up by California's governor (not Arnold, because we Californians are cooler than him, I really don't know how he won…) and taken to a fancy hotel.

"I want to attend school." Axel stated in his best try of English, not bad, less work for us authoresses.

And so, because he was governor, Axel was attending Destiny Islands College of Arts and Technology. Why? Because it was the only college on the islands next to End of the World: College for Darkness and Heartless which is owned by some rich pervert named Ansem, but we'll not go there right now.

So Axel was going to DIC: AaT, for short, and had classes in _Design_, _Choir_, _Dances of the Worlds_, and _How To Use A Computer For Dipshits_.

He had _Design_, where he procceded to make two girls faint from blood loss, got three telephone numbers for girls who _would_ be in his Harem, and three new friends named Xigbar, Luxord, and Marluxia.

Now we fallow Axel to _Choir_, where he would be taught English songs, but the teacher, Aeris, told him he had to teach them some Egyptian songs. So he did, and he had been halfway through his song (which, if anyone knew Egyptian would translate directly to 'This Is The Song That'll Never End') when he spotted him.

The brunet had been sitting there, a calm smile on his face, watching Axel in complete amusement. Axel gaped, the kid was beautiful, a lightly round face with some baby fat, large crystal blue eyes, tanned skin, and a lithe body. Okay, it was hidden by a royal blue turtleneck, black jacket that had '_Phantom of the Opera_' sown in white cursive on the front (Axel would look into this 'phantom' that marked the beauty later), black pants and some black and blue sneakers. But hey, Axel's a _prince_, with a _harem_, he can _tell_ what kind of body people have, and this kid was _lithe_. Got it memorized? Good.

Instantly Axel was on his knees, latching onto the boy's hands and brushing his lips across the boy's knuckles. "_Int betetkalem arabi_?"

Axel, what the hell did I say about—?

"Excuse me?" The boy blinked, completely ignoring our one authoress as the co-authoress held her back.

Axel chuckled, lips brushing across the tanned skin, "I want you to join my harem."

The boy blushed, and Axel used his hand to brush some of the spiky chocolate hair out of his face and put it behind an ear. He brushed his fingers against the earring that fell down the boy's neck with many different beads and requested again.

Determined, ain't he?

"Well, I'm not sure what my boyfriend would think about that…" Came the soft voice.

Axel gave a confused face, "What is a… boyfriend…?"

Everyone stared at him.

The boy looked inside his mind for a meaning, "… Instead of a harem, where you give yourself to many people, a boyfriend is where you give yourself to one. One who you love more than life itself."

Our poor Axel looked so confused.

Aeris, meanwhile, was busy using her printer on her computer before rushing over and giving Axel and the boy each a paper.

"It's Phantom in Arabic, sing Axel, sing!" (the link to the lyrics is at the top, in the authoress notes, if you can read Arabic that is XD)

So this was the mysterious 'Phantom' taking away his brunet? Well then….

GLARE.

Aeris was too busy paying attention to the boy, "Sora, you do Christine, please?"

"But I can't read Arabic…"

"I got it translated to look like English."

"Oh, okay then!"

She handed the boy a paper, but Axel was too busy glaring at the 'Phantom' to notice.

"Axel…"

He looked up.

"Sing the words on the paper."

"But it's the 'Phantom'."

"What?" Everyone stared.

"It's the 'Phantom' that's trying to take my new conquest away!" He spat, dropping the paper and pointing at the boy.

Everyone looked at Sora's jacket, then the paper with the Arabic translation of the song, and then burst into laughter.

Aeris shook her head, walking over and picking up the paper, "Axel, the phantom is dead, he's been dead for a long time. Now, we're just giving you the songs to sing that he sang."

"But he branded my conquest!"

The class laughed, Axel's 'conquest' had been bright red.

"No, no, no Axel, that's just a jacket with his name on it, meaning Sora _likes_ him. He admires his music and songs."

After three seconds, it finally clicked on our Egyptian prince.

"Oh."

So he took the lyrics from Aeris, and the two began to sing. And because the Arabic symbols wouldn't show up on FFN, Tke did not put it up and is too busy hearing the Arabic and Russian version of Phantom for the first time.

Anyways, moving on.

After the class (in which everyone loved Axel) Axel had three hours before he had to go to his next class.

Guess what that meant?

Harassing our poor brunet wherever he went!

So when our 'poor' brunet told Axel he would take him to where his friends sat for lunch and let him hang, Axel declared eternal love. Like he did to every girl and boy in his harem.

He took him to an Arabic restaurant and got a 'to-go' order while our brunet got a burger combo and shake from McDonalds, because hey, he likes fast food like that.

They joined the brunet's group of friends on a small island called 'Riku's Play Island' because it was close-by. Who was Riku? Some king this culture worshiped?

Oh, if only you knew Axel…

The brunet, who finally told Axel his name was Sora after being called 'conquest' so many times, introduced Axel to his many friends who seemed to hear about him and like him.

Axel had even realized Xigbar, Luxord, and Marluxia were part of this group, along with some people named Kairi, Selphie, Demyx, Zexion, Larxene, Tidus, Wakka, and Naminé.

They sat, in between Demyx and Kairi, and Axel's arm slid around Sora's waist, causing the boy to squeak and everyone to blink before whistling 'there's going to be _trouble_'.

So this went on for about half an hour until someone gave a dangerous cough behind Axel.

Wonder who that could be… _**cough**_

The group looked, and standing there was Riku, hands full of food and glaring down harshly at Axel.

Rule 1) You don't glare at Axel/Riku

Neither boy knew that rule.

So here they were, glaring at each other.

"You're in my seat." Came Riku's growl.

"I got here first." Came Axel's shot back.

"He technically _did_…" Demyx answered softly, but was hushed by the glare Riku gave and the blond went crying into Xigbar's arms. So the blond ended up making room by sitting next to his best friend (crush) Zexion, and Riku plopped down next to Sora.

Axel's arm had been around Sora's waist and Riku's was around Sora's hips, wouldn't that be a pretty sight?

Without looking, Riku somehow managed to dislodge Axel's arm and send him flying into the grass below.

And here's where it starts.

Riku was pushed, back first, into the grass and now had several sharp weapons pointing at his face and throat. He had been frozen, gulping as his adam's apple brushed against a spear's point.

"Riku!" Sora had shouted, scrambling to help his boyfriend up.

"_Alf Zobr Fe Teezak_! _Zobrak Sughayar Awy_!!" Axel shouted his insults, which translated to '1000 cooks up your ass' and 'your cock is really small'.

Please don't ask Tke how she knows that…

Anyways…

Sora used his puppy dog eyes to get Axel to get the guards off Riku, and so Axel had no choice but to do so. Or fear the wrath of his 'conquest'.

So basically everyone was off-limits from touching each other romantically, which left Axel and Riku fuming.

Lunch, all in all, sucked for Axel.

X.X.X.X.X

_Dances of the Worlds_ was Axel's second to last class, and Sora (happily) and Riku (grumbling) was shown to the classroom because apparently Sora's brother was taking the class at this time too.

Sora had a brother?

Yes, Sora and told Axel, he had a twin.

Oh joy!

Lucky day!

Axel would have twins in his harem!

_**Sigh**_, Axel you never learn, do you?

Sora and Riku had left hand in hand, to which Axel swore vengeance against Riku, before walking into the classroom.

It was practically empty, but there was a stereo on one of the desks playing some kind of Italian song.

And there was a boy.

Can't forget that, can we?

Anyways.

The boy was gorgeous, and Axel could see Sora in him, so this must've been Sora's brother. But while Sora was cute and adorable, this boy was sexy and sensual.

His golden hair spiked out similar to Sora's, but all the spikes pointed into one direction, upwards on the right side. He had sapphire blue eyes and pale skin, he was almost the complete opposite of Sora. The boy was dressed in a black sleeveless shirt that's collar was folded to show it's grey inside, black slim pants and white socks. Sure, and he had a silver four-pointed chocker and a checkered wristband, but this is Axel. He's checking out bodies, not accessories.

And since he had used that one question on Sora and it didn't work, so why not ask the next question?

He grabbed the boy's hand, and the boy had stopped dancing, as if he was snapped out of his trance and looked down at Axel, who had gotten on his knees.

"Be in my harem?"

The boy stared for five seconds, looking around and seeing if he was on Candid Camera or something before seeing no one. (Axel's guards were taking a lunch break outside.)

"Be in my harem?" Axel repeated again, kissing the blond's hand and trying to kiss up his arm.

So the boy did the only thing that he could think of.

_SMACK!_

And Axel went tumbling down the floor and landing with his ass on the door.

Upside down, he could see the boy grabbing his white and checkered jacket and held it close to him as if to cover him.

Well that went well, didn't it Axel?

X.X.X.X.X

_Burning sands winds of desire  
Mirrored the waves that reflect a burning fire within my heart  
Un-watered, feeding the flame  
Welcoming you to my Harem_

Sing for me a song of life's visage  
Sing for me a tune of love's mirage

In his eyes sleep untold  
Whispers that echo the days of all my soul  
I hold your Eastern promise close to my heart  
Welcoming you to my Harem

Sing for me a song of life's visage  
Sing for me a tune of love's mirage

Time is change times will move us now  
No escape, the passing sands of time  
I hold your Eastern promise close to my heart  
Welcoming you to my Harem

X.X.X.X.X

Tke: Yeah, Axel seems to have fun adventures, doesn't he?

KC: We should join him more often.

Tke: That's why there's more chapters to come!! ALL WE NEED ARE REVIEWS!!

KC: REVIEWERS GET PLUSHIES OF AXEL THAT GO ON THEIR KNEES AND ASK ANY SORA OR ROXAS PLUSHIE TO GO TO HIS HAREM!!


End file.
